last week my attorney asked me to write something up in preparation for friday
i agreed because i knew it was needed
but, in my mind i was hesitant
because: old wounds
yet, i was astound at how effortlessly the words rolled off my tongue
penned to my pad
and instead of tears filling my eyes
joy overcame me.
there was a sigh of relief.
a sense of freedom.
that these memories.
and the persons attached to them
no longer had any power over me.
no longer had any control over me.
many of us hold onto things.
we try to mask our pain.
hide our hurt
thinking it will all go away
but, let me be the first to tell you
it will not.
the only way to get over it
is to deal.
don’t be in such a rush to heal
don’t be ashamed of your hurt.
confide in someone you trust.
write yourself whole.
pray your way back to God.
know and understand that
healing is more than a process
it is a journey.
i’ve always wanted to live up here.
i left when i was a mere child
so my memories are far in few.
but being around my dad
and his side of the family
has always brought about a certain inner peace in me.
and right now
that comfort is needed.
they are the calmer side to me
whereas, my mom’s folks are the
“ride out” kind of folks.
i’d like to think that makes me a well rounded individual lol
but to others (i.e. bae), i’m bat sh*t crazy.
however, i will admit that my ability to read you
nice nasty like then offer up a word to you
comes from the combination of having
the two sides as my relatives.
but anyway, healing is a process
forcing us to embrace ourselves as a whole.
situations begin to arise that give light to parts of us that have not yet healed
and in our minds before trusting the process, we end up judging ourselves.
we get mad and angry.
we start to feel powerless
returning to worry and causing us to give up
and point fingers.
bring attention, with love…..
our first reaction is to ignore old wounds when they begin to show themselves.
we convince ourselves that the past is the past and we don’t have time to dwell on it.
here is why we need to dwell on the past, if only for a moment:
when we choose to not give attention to our past hurt
we empower our past to remain a driving force in our lives.
in order for the past to really be the past
we must first, accept.
and then find the value.
the lesson that was to be learned in all of our experiences.
so here are 7 ways to “dress” your emotional wounds:
acknowledge your hurt
not to sound cliche (or maybe i do)
but we all know the first step to anything is to acknowledge
sometimes our hurt comes from self-inflicted wounds
doing things we had no business doing.
holding on to people we know meant us no good.
be honest with yourself.
no one ever wants to be honest with themselves.
we just always want to place blame.
i’m sure the last two years of my life could have been avoided
had i listened to my mother
had i paid attention to the signs.
does that excuse their actions, of course not
but we sometimes make life harder for ourselves
by causing unnecessary pain in the decision we make.
is that you?
i believe this is self-explanatory.
however, people often result forgiveness as weakness
when it fact its quite the opposite.
a weak willed mind will hold onto the hurt.
allowing the pain to control them
and their behavior.
but a strong one
knows that in order to move on
you must forgive and let go
i am notorious for cutting people off.
i am notorious for changing my phone number.
i have no problem adding someone to the “block and delete” list
and sometimes, without warning.
i journal like my life depends on it
because in essence, it does.
the rule of thumb is:
if something doesn’t bring positivity or causes unwarranted pain
let it go.
go to your own personal closet
write out whatever it is your feeling
you will cry.
you will want to stop.
you will be angry.
but keep going.
get it all out
and when you are done.
rip it all up if you to.
to signify you finally putting things to bed.
be kind to yourself
keep in mind that this is again, a process.
so don’t be in a rush.
don’t judge yourself for being hurt.
feed your powerlessness with love.
celebrate your ability to bring awareness to your hurt
your ability to finally find the strength to confront and move on
be accepting of yourself.
physically show yourself love through action.