i haven’t always been the most confident.
i’ve always found myself attractive, don’t get me wrong
but, being confident in my size
has always been a problem for me.
i was always the “larger” sister
or the “not so small” friend.
i used to hate shopping.
it often left me feeling bad about myself.
reminding me how my size is considered
“less than normal”.
yet, as i get older.
as i grow.
as i have overcome.
i have learned to love me
simply for being me.
to love my flaws.
to practice daily affirmations.
understanding that someone else’s beauty
doesn’t diminish my own.
and just because my weight is less than ideal
just because a bmi chart willfully tells me that
i am morbidly obese.
carrying too much weight for my 5’3 stature
doesn’t mean that any of
it is true.
being confident is more than a feeling.
define your own standard.
let no one tell you what you should look like.
how you should dress.
or what size you should be.
let no one tell you that your definition of beauty is
just because it stands differently
from their own.
being confident isn’t about matching the girls you see on the tv.
secretly wishing to be those girls you stalk on instagram.
wishing your eyes or your hair.
your skin tone or your lips
were a bit more lighter
like the girls you see next door.
confidence comes from simply
embrace your flaws
i stood in front of a camera.
i wore a see through crop top.
i posed, baring my mid-riff.
allowing the curls of my fro-hawk to freely grace my face.
i stood confidently
in front of
embracing my inner sexy
not worried about how others would look at me.
less than concerned with their thoughts of me.
caring less about “looking perfect”
“appearing to be a certain size”
or hiding my flaws.
embracing my cellulite.
of my past.
they are proof of
but also proof that i heal.
these stretch marks
display my rite of passage
bringing life into this world
i simply stood there
this complex creature that i am.
simply living in the moment.
enjoying the moment.
try something new
there’s something magical.
something so empowering
about stepping outside your box.
there is something about conquering your fears.
walking that fine line of insanity
as you discover new and exciting things.
as you experience freedom
never before known to you
all because you decided to try something new.
some often ask how i’m okay with
going to the movies alone.
having dinner alone.
or just sitting at home.
unplugged from the rest of the world.
watching my favorite movie.
eating my favorite food.
or reading my favorite books.
holding full blown conversations with myself.
and i simply answer
spending time with yourself
means getting to know who you are.
for this leads to understanding