i have this long list of do’s and dont’s when it comes to what i will and will not put on my body.
i won’t wear swimsuits
i won’t wear my arms out.
blazers at all times.
bodycon is a definite no, no.
strapless, what? girl, please.
mid-riffs? crop tops?
have you seen my tummy?
i just started wearing shorts again, like last year.
i just got re-acclimated with the camera, like this year.
(although we still have this love and war thing going on sometimes)
and by sometimes, i mainly mean when in collaboration with other photographers
because i have perfectly crafted just the right way to sit.
to make my size 14 body frame
look like a size 10-12.
and i’m left sitting there asking myself
“is the camera over exaggerating a bit?”
“is this what i really look like?”
knowing full well that the camera
captured the “true” essence of who i am.
let’s just say
“true to size”
isn’t the caption you want inserted under
your instagram photo.
and that whole “if you think you are then you are”
mumbo jumbo doesn’t really apply here.
because i thought i was the thick version of skinny
and with each shutter
the camera was saying
“no girl, you are not”
i am 28, going to be 29 in october.
(yes i know i’m a baby)
and i love every bit of the woman i have grown into.
the woman i am constantly becoming.
and so, i should be able to celebrate my body in whatever manner
i deem appropriate
i mean it is mine!
these thighs and hips ain’t going nowhere
and well i just continue to say that it is
really stubborn “postpartum” baby fat.
and even though she is now 5
this will probably be one of those
mom things we hang over children
when there’s a need to relive our
the real culprit though.
(specifically, m&m blasts. lit)
are at fault here.
and if anybody fines a way to deliciously
pack all three into one dish.
i’ll just prepare to say goodbye to my waist line.
(it’s the only thing i’ve managed to hold onto)
but as i am approoaching my thirties.
as i am learning to love and appreciate myself
in ways never before
i have realized one thing:
(and excuse my french here)
i just don’t a give a fuck no more.
i am gorgeous.
i am fine.
i am sexy.
i dare you to tell me otherwise!
(even though for awhile i didn’t believe that i was sexy; it used to make me really uncomfortable to hear someone describe me in that manner, but now i embrace it because well, its true).
and i just might channel my inner erykah badu
cause you know, I can’t go to jail.
but still, don’t tempt me.
so first off on my checklist and now going on my list of must-haves for the fall.
first of all, mirrors lie.
especially dressing room mirrors.
i’ll get to a store, find something i like.
try it on.
love it because the dressing room mirror told me that i was fine and looked good in it.
but then when i get home.
try it on again
in front of my mirror
i usually end up hating it
and the mirror is asking me
“girl, why did you do that to yourself?”
while i’m secretly responding, “it didn’t look like this in the store”
so then it ends up going in the “it’ll motivate me to lose weight” pile that gets buried deep in your closet.
til you need something to wear for like a night out or whatever
and you go digging around like “oh, i forgot i had this”
you put it on
and then remember why you forgot you had it.
if you’re going to lie to me, i need a consistent lie to halfway make me feel better about myself.
just an fyi.
but, that’s just me lol.
anyway so i journeyed down to forever 21 (which is a store i usually bypass unless i need jewelry)
decided to give their plus size section a look over and came across this very simple black body suit.
initially, i looked at it.
imagined myself hating it.
and walked away from it.
did i mention that’s how i try on clothes now?
instead of trying things i on, i pick it up and think:
if it’s too stretchy that means its clingy.
girl put it back.
if it’s not enough stretch.
these thighs ain’t gon’ make it.
these handles ain’t gon’ love it.
so, put it back on the hanger
and walk away like nothing ever happened.
but, as i was saying, i saw the bodysuit (exact one here )
stared at it.
stared at it again before actually deciding to try on it.
(in my mind it was like making a major purchase).
be to my dismay, i freaking loved it.
and much more slimming than i imagined it to be.
moral of the story:
shopping builds character.
now go and be sexy my friends!
bodysuit: forever 21 (here)
shorts: old navy (here)
sunglasses: aldo (here)
shoes: dsw (here)
belt: crossbody chain