Its amazing to the think that it is already October. 2017 has come and gone and here I am a now 30 year old woman set out to do one thing from here on out: living with intention. I am sure some of you are asking, “but Brie haven’t you been doing that already”. And to answer your question, yes I have but, not I have not. There are still somethings I have denied myself, still somethings I have been afraid to go after and so, I am challenging myself to stretch myself even further. That is what life is about is it not? Constantly forcing ourselves to grow beyond our comfort. Stretch beyond your comfort.
But first, lets discuss the month of September and what the hell I’ve been doing with my life since my last blog post way back in July (shameful by the way). I don’t know I guess I just needed time. Time to really hone in on the life I want to create for me and my family. And as I embark upon my one year mark of living on the East Coast, life isn’t what I thought it would be like at this point, but I am a whole lot farther from where I started.
Thus, I am grateful.
September was a huge month for me as I:
- Created all new content for briannepatrice dot com (boss up)
- Created content for my new (and very first) YouTube Channel (stretching)
- Found a co-host for my podcast, Just Us Girls (launching Oct 11th) (excited)
- Hired someone to help fix my credit issues (yes sis, its been a struggle and bad credit isn’t cute)
- the last one is very personal and I prefer not to talk about it as of yet, but soon…. (order my steps Lord)
So, as I head into October I think about my goal of living with intention, doing so unapologetically and what that looks to me. I began reading this book, The Desired Map, and the author puts an interesting spin on what it means to set goals. Instead of making a list of things we want, changes we want to see in our diet, list of places we want to visit and etc. She instead suggests that we look at it from an emotional viewpoint by asking one simple question:
What will I do to feel the way I want to feel?
Danielle suggests that instead creating these list of things we want, we instead list our feelings. We address the way we want to feel each and every morning we open our eyes and from there decide what action we need to take. I was sharing with a loved one last month that for me turning 30 meant finally enjoying life as I envisioned it to be. Recklessly adhering to my own happiness. So, as you are reading this I want you to think about ways you too can stretch beyond your comfort.
Stretch Beyond Your Comfort: How do I want to feel?
To be happy I desire to wake up every morning feeling purposeful. And that’s not to say that I do not feel purposeful now, but there are days when I wake up with the “what are you doing with your life?” question lingering in the back of my head. And then there are days that I have feelings of, “I could be doing more”. And to be honest I don’t believe I will never not feel this way, I will always feel that I could in fact do more.
Therefore to feel purposeful, this month I will:
Help women understand the benefit of personal branding by launching one-on-one coaching
Volunteer or host some kind of in-person/online charitable event
Pray, journal and work out daily.
***Praying, journaling and working out daily are very important to not just my physical, but also to my mental and spiritual mindset. I can always tell a difference in my day and in my attitude when I have not done at least one of the three.
To feel loved on a day to day basis goes far beyond craving the affection of a man. If you have been following me for the last 12 months (and most of you have been), then you know that I have not dated at all during 2017. Here recently, however, I made the decision to entertain the idea of allowing a man back into my space. I don’t make this decision with a light heart as being alone for these last 12 months has been freeing and because there are other matters of that heart I first have decided to seek after. BUT, I am in no rush to find a “mate”, a “husband” or a “bae”.
For me being loved means to continue to spend time with myself, to continue to get to know myself on all levels. Making sure my daughter knows and understands what it means to love herself and strengthening the “ties that bond” between my family and I (extended family included).
While, I have no real concrete plan on how to tie this bond between families; I do know that my God holds the answers and whatever He should have me to do I can only pray that he gives me the strength and the courage to actually fulfill it.
Freedom & In-Control.
Personally, both feeling free and in-control go hand-in-hand. I believe there is no worst feeling than realizing that you are not as in-control of your life as you would like to believe that you are. And that is okay. Regardless of what age you are the important thing is that you are now aware of the problem and have the power to fix it. I haven’t been “in-control” of my life for awhile now. And that feeling constantly lingers over me. However, as life continues to progress each day I regain just a little bit of who and what I lost. Yet, to be both free and “in-control”, I will become more daring in my choices.
I will no longer be prisoner to fear of heights, fear of money, fear of disappointment and success. Instead, I will choose to complete at least one activity that will force me to face each of my fears. I think as people become more and more successful, they talk less and less about their fears. We equate them to being fearless. When fearless itself does not mean to be without fear, it means to push forward DESPITE those fears. Oop, here we go…stretching ourselves.
Currently, I have been shooting my shot [if you will] with other like minded women by asking them to lunch, exchanging phone numbers and etc. A lot of us want, seek and pray for a strong circle of friends, but many of us do not take the time to actually build one. Sis, you gotta go out and FIND them. You have to put yourself in the position to find these group of women you wish to be apart of.
I have one idea in mind (and I’ll keep that to myself for now), but don’t worry I’ll tell you rather it was a hit or a miss. Freedom for me also means being unafraid to explore more of my sexuality. I hate how people hear those group of words together and automatically equate that to “hoeing” around. When really there are so many other ways one can explore their sexual freedom outside of having or sleeping with [random] men.
For example, I bought myself some yoni eggs after a conversation with my girls a few months ago. My experience with them? More to come….
As you all know “sexy” was a word I struggled to embrace for quite some time. Naively failing to understand that there are multiple definitions for the word sexy. Simply because what is sexy to one may not be sexy to another. Though, I no longer struggle with this word, feeling sexy is something I wish to aspire to at least 90% of the time. And I don’t mean an external sexy, but moreso an internal sexy by the way I treat others and how I choose to take care of myself.
Self-care is indeed sexy.
Kindness is sexy.
Respectability is sexy.
And your ability to exemplify the above to even those who have mistreated you shows maturity. And that my friends is also sexy.
I’ve been reading more about the vegan lifestyle, a lot of my friends are vegan. And I had my first vegan meal this month and it was delish! As I continue to further my research, rather or not I actually cross over into a vegan lifestyle is to be determined, but becoming even more mindful of the foods I feed my body is key.
As I enter this new phase of life, living my life with intention goes far beyond the amount of money I hold in the bank. Of course I want to be prosperous financially, but holistically I want the freedom to live my life in away that is satisfying to me. And up til now, I feel as though I have been denied that right by myself and other outside forces I have chosen to no longer give thought to.
Being a badass is a feeling that you own every single day. It’s waking up to take on the world and that life has to throw at you with the mentality of knowing that you will be stronger because of it. I AM stronger because of it. My gifts and my abilities continue to make room for me and as doubt and fear slowly start to slip away I wake up into newness. I am molded into the woman I want to become while being shaped into the woman I am yet to be.
Badassary is both a feeling and an action. It is also, purposeful.