***warning contains explicit content***
(this warning is primarily for my mother as I know she sometimes reads my blog, so if today is one of those days you happened to have found your way to my blog home. mom,.stop reading…NOW! no seriously, stop reading)
I feel sexy all of the time. Which is quite a new thing for me. A new feeling for me. I once didn’t consider myself to be sexy or to have sex appeal, but here lately I just feel….sexy. In love with my smile. The way my hair caresses the frame of my face. The way the sun bounces off my subtle brown skin. My womanly physique and girlish curves. Dancing in front of a mirror while the sounds of H.E.R soothe my ears. I feel sexy. And I don’t just feel sexy, I am…sexy. I am beautiful and as a single 29 year old woman sometimes that feeling of sexy. That reminder of just how much of a badass I really am turns me on and sometimes I just have to….*smirk*
Just as it would any man lucky enough to receive even a fraction of my time, I am a force to be reckoned with. So naturally with this feeling of “womanness”, my sensuality heightens my sexuality and all I want to do is…
…touch myself. caress these curves and finding euphoria at the mere stroke of my own fingertips.
I just have to…
There’s something so empowering, so fulfilling about being able to control your own orgasm.
And I don’t know why people treat this as some dirty act. As if this means that you are some sex slaved nympho incapable of controlling your urges. Quite contrary to popular belief, it is the exact opposite. I used to be one of those small-minded people who thought of this as some indecent act. I too was afraid to talk about it, to admit to the fact that sometimes self-love means being intimate with my own self. Exploring my own body, scratching that itch that he just can’t quite get. And now that I am older, since embarking upon this man-less journey my eyes and my mind have taking on a whole new way of “loving” myself.
have taking over me as I think about all that I have learned about myself and my sexuality. My strength and my vulnerability. I have come to appreciate my beautiful body and all of her imperfections. To love every little stretch mark and every little scar, every dimple (yes I have dimples) and yes girl, even my cellulite I have learned to love it all. I am fine. Therefore, sometimes I can’t help but to…
To love myself. Or…
…to have a date with Bob.
You know Bob, girl. Probably have one in your nightstand with an extra set of batteries sitting right next to it, just in case you and Bob have a crazy night or go a little longer than you intended. Bob and I are quite the lovers sometimes. We have breakfast some mornings, lunch in the afternoons, dinner after a long day at work and some nights when I am really feeling good about myself you might even catch us having a midnight snack. Bob and I are quite the lovers.
I have never been one to actually reach that climatic point when being intimate with a loved one. I am often left with the task of completing the mission long after he has de-boarded the plane. That was until I met a certain Scorpio and well, let’s just say his venom hasn’t quite cleared my system…
Another story. Another day.
I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I was actually going to bring this post to life. I mean my mother reads my blog, my family is aware that I write and so I could just hear the backlash. But!, I am a sexual person. I love the art of intimacy. The kissing and the holding of hands. The gazing into one’s eyes as you both take each other to places unimaginable. But, why should intimacy be something experienced only by those in relationships? Why can’t I, as a single woman, experience intimacy with myself? For me, masturbation is all about intimacy. Intimacy I get to experience when nestled comfortably in my own private space….
Learning about the things that I love.
Not too fast, and not too slow.
A little less to the right…
and more to the, ooohh yes right there.
that is it do not move.
Stay right there.
And let the magic of this moment elevate your soul…
I am learning what kind of lover I am.
And how can I expect him…
(and by him, I mean my man whenever I decide to date again)
How can I expect him to please me, if I cannot please myself.
If I cannot tell him what I like and don’t like.
Where my “spot” is? My trigger points that get me going…
…how can I if…
But aside from the obvious reasons one would choose to masturbate, I have three reasons. That’s right..
…masturbation with a purpose lol (judge if you must, its okay I don’t care)
Helps with My Creative Process
Now sometime ago, I wrote a post specifically dedicated to ways one could get their creative juices flowing (pun intended). This, however, was not on the list. Although, I clearly recommend putting it on there. As weird as it may sound, and maybe its not weird at all. Maybe this is actually quite normal, but unlike me you are just afraid to admit that the art of self pleasure can sometimes be just that…
Pretty sure this is one is no-brainer. I often said that I believe I was a man in former life lol. More often than not after a certain level of intimacy, be it with myself or with my partner, I immediately go to sleep afterwards. Like immediately. Now the scientific answer suggests that the release of endorphines is a well-known way to help you sleep better. You know much like going to the gym and sweating your life away. But seriously, which one is more invigorating, working out or…
And if you suffer from insomnia, well you know you might just want to….
…but you didn’t get that from me.
Don’t believe me? Research it for yourself.
I wouldn’t steer you wrong. Trust.
When am I never not stressed? No, but seriously as adults many of us don’t pay attention to the signs our body gives us when we are stressed. Or we just ignore them hoping that it will go away until we end up sick or in someone’s hospital bed. Not me homie, not me. I don’t have time to be sick. I don’t have time to be in someone’s hospital, so when my body says “bih you need to relax,” I sit my ass down and I listen.
Usually, I stress in my shoulders or in my neck. Either my shoulders are in a great amount of pain or I am constantly pulling muscles in my neck (and yes, its painful AF). Yes there are other ways to relieve stress, and I partake in all of them. However, when you are in that moment. Your mind is clearly, all that negative energy leaves your body and now you are able to move about comfortably without feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. Literally.
Think I’m lying? Go ahead you sexy animal, give it a try. You know you want to!
Now if you’ll excuse me, my fingers are tired from typing.
Thus, I have a date with Bob.
Do not disturb.